The Three Ingredients of Influential Conversations: Curiosity, Empathy, and Courage

Everyone wants to make an impact through conversation, but being influential isn’t about dominating discussions or persuading others forcefully. Instead, it’s about connecting on a deeper level using three core elements—curiosity, empathy, and courage. Together, these components can turn ordinary exchanges into meaningful dialogues, building relationships and trust.
If you’re looking for actionable ways to improve your communication skills, understanding these three ingredients will put you on the path to having more impactful and productive conversations.
Curiosity: The Gateway to Understanding
Curiosity is the essential first step towards an influential conversation. It’s about approaching every interaction with an open mind and a genuine desire to learn, rather than feeling the need to assert your opinion or provide immediate solutions.
Imagine speaking to someone who always pushes their perspective without considering yours. You’d quickly tune out because such certainty leaves little room to explore new ideas. On the other hand, curiosity invites dialogue and exploration. It encourages the other person to share their thoughts while enabling you to listen and ask insightful questions.
The Power of Asking Questions
When you focus on asking questions instead of offering unsolicited advice, you empower others to arrive at their own conclusions. A great example is of a father having a 22-minute talk with his daughter. Instead of jumping in with solutions, he asked thoughtful questions. By the end of their conversation, she reached the same conclusion he would have advised her, but she owned the decision.
This approach illustrates the beauty of curiosity—it fosters empowerment and mutual understanding. To practise this yourself, resist the urge to showcase your knowledge and instead prioritise learning from the perspective of others.
Empathy: The Bridge Between Perspectives
Empathy is the second ingredient and often misunderstood. Unlike sympathy, which involves feeling sorry for someone, empathy is about seeing the world through another’s eyes. It’s the ability to care deeply about someone else’s thoughts, emotions, and motivations.
Author John Aov puts it succinctly, describing empathy as “caring about what the people you care about care about.” This deceptively simple principle is the foundation for building trust and fostering meaningful connections in any conversation.
Cultivating Empathy in Conversations
You likely already practise empathy with people close to you—a friend grieving a personal loss or a colleague seeking career advice. Now imagine bringing that same attentiveness and concern into every conversation you have. Doing so builds bridges between varying perspectives and ensures the other person feels heard and valued.
Building empathy doesn’t require fancy words or dramatic gestures. It could mean actively listening, repeating key points to show understanding, or expressing genuine interest in someone’s experiences. These small but meaningful actions show you care and pave the way for impactful exchanges.
Courage: The Power to Ask and Move Forward
The third and final ingredient is courage, but here’s the catch—this isn’t about bold acts of bravery like climbing Mount Everest. Instead, it’s the courage to ask meaningful questions, take the next step, and make requests—no matter how daunting they might seem.
Whether it’s asking a prospective client about their goals or inviting someone to commit to a decision, courage allows you to move conversations forward with purpose and confidence.
Courage in Action
Think about something as significant as proposing marriage. While the question itself might feel overwhelming, its success lies in context—knowing the relationship is strong makes it natural and logical. Similarly, in conversations, proposing the next step shouldn’t feel like a high-stakes gamble when built on trust and understanding.
A courageous conversation could be as simple as, “Would you like to explore working on this project together?” or “How can I support your goals further in this area?” The key is to present your request with grace, without pressuring or retreating in fear of rejection.
Trust Comes from Curiosity and Empathy
Curiosity and empathy together create trust—the secret ingredient for influential conversations. People rarely trust those who can’t take the time to understand their motivations and concerns. When you lead with curiosity to uncover insights and apply empathy to connect, trust is built naturally.
This is particularly crucial in business. Whether you’re a consultant, entrepreneur, or content creator, your technical expertise may begin the conversation, but trust will determine where it leads. And trust isn’t something you declare—it’s something you earn through actions that show care and attention.
A Simple Challenge to Practise
Want to experience transformation in your conversations? Spend an entire day resisting the urge to give advice or share opinions. Instead, listen deeply, ask questions, and demonstrate genuine curiosity. This small experiment will show you just how meaningful this approach can be—and how powerful empathy and courage are in supporting it.
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